So, I came to the forum to vent some things and I hope there's someone out there I can talk to.
The situation is this: In school I started dating a classmate about 1.5 years ago. We became the best couple ever, we did everything together and all our friends looked up to us wanting to have such a strong and caring relationship
I have actually given her a couple Olympic 50p with her favourite sports and started a themed mini-collection for us with elephant themed coins
But recently we've started university and she went to study in a town about 400km from mine. A single trip to visit her costs me about 40 euros. It may not seem like much but for a student with no income it is a lot. Quite strangely it was my coin budget. You may see where this is going...
For me to visit her once a month it would cost me about the same as my coin budget. Since I can't stand being apart from her I've decided I'll stop expanding my collection for a couple of years so I'll be able to go visit her once in a while
I couldn't ever imagine being apart from this hobby up until now and this decision makes me terribly sad
I've made a promise I'll come back to this later when I can.
I'll still silently read the forum and post from time to time but for the swaps and new coins it's farewell for now
Why not create a new source of income instead of replacing an expense with another one?
Aaaaaand that ladies and gentlemen is why most people are stuck in being in the middle class, only creating more expenses instead of creating pofit to cover them.
I sincerely hope that you will find a way to keep your hobby and visit your girlfriend at the same time.
Quote: "smoked_caramel"Welcome to the club! Those are kinds of decisions you have to make as you become older, get family, kids...
I agree with kolikko99 though, why not find another source of income?
I actually have little time or skill to find any sort of income. It would be nice but I can't thing of anything I could do that I like to make money or to turn something I already do in a way to make money
You have so wide collecting area that you can win "free" coins from internet auction lots. Use your time and find those undervalued coin lots and bid them. Every now and then you win an auction and can keep what you need and sell the rest with better price. That works with basic world coins but it takes time of course.
You can always restart later. I sold off my substantial stamp collection about 15 years ago to buy an engagement ring for my then girlfriend (now wife of 13 years). Once you've finished studying and have a job then you'll have more disposable income (unless like me you have a couple of kids...those little buggars eat through money like nobody's business)
Quote: "smoked_caramel"Welcome to the club! Those are kinds of decisions you have to make as you become older, get family, kids...
I agree with kolikko99 though, why not find another source of income?
I actually have little time or skill to find any sort of income. It would be nice but I can't thing of anything I could do that I like to make money or to turn something I already do in a way to make money
Bonds, stocks, gambling (not recommended), sell stuff online, offer services for money (cleaning babysitting...), start a home business... there are endless possibilities and putting your savings to a jar and let them sit there isn't going to do anything.
Quote: "neilithic"You can always restart later. I sold off my substantial stamp collection about 15 years ago to buy an engagement ring for my then girlfriend (now wife of 13 years). Once you've finished studying and have a job then you'll have more disposable income (unless like me you have a couple of kids...those little buggars eat through money like nobody's business)
some stamp collection!
I have periodically sold parts of my collection to finance things. I also tutor and teach on the side to support my addiction. That way my regular job pays the bills
Quote: "smoked_caramel"Welcome to the club! Those are kinds of decisions you have to make as you become older, get family, kids...
I agree with kolikko99 though, why not find another source of income?
I actually have little time or skill to find any sort of income. It would be nice but I can't thing of anything I could do that I like to make money or to turn something I already do in a way to make money
Bonds, stocks, gambling (not recommended), sell stuff online, offer services for money (cleaning babysitting...), start a home business... there are endless possibilities and putting your savings to a jar and let them sit there isn't going to do anything.
And why not start selling coins online??
When you're at varsity you're better to concentrate on studying. I had to work to put myself through Uni and it was hell. up at 9am for lessons, then tutorials, home for studying, start work at 10pm and work through to 3am then up again at 9am for classes the next day. I had to give up tennis and badminton (both sports I played to a representative level) because I just didn't have any time for them. Adding more stress into your life by trying to do something else to find extra money is just not worth it.
When I was a kid I had next to no budget at all but just enjoyed going through bargain bins of some local coin shops. As a student I discovered that buying over internet was more efficient, but still my budget was quite limited and I spent a lot on other stuff as well (and I had multiple side-jobs).
I did not touch any numismatics for a decade until my mother brought me my entire collection because I was finally living in a decent place. By that time silver prices were high and I sold off all my commemoratives. But I also started expanding again, especially in non-European coins. My career had flourished but as Neil already pointed out my kids cost a fortune. Luckily I still have a bit to spare.
Let love rule for now, but also look for extra income opportunities. It's also for getting some experience in organising life which will help you later to find a job after graduation. I did this a lot as a student and benefited from it.
And the coins stuff you can always pick up again at any time.
Life is a great ride, get in the front seat of that roller coaster and scream like a banshee!
I just started collecting (seriously) after a solid 30 year hiatus. Don't have much, but I have a goal (complete Canadian 1 cent collection by date / variety, xf or better). I'll let EVERYONE know when I get the 1936 dot (last auction was 400K usd). I am even considering that 300 country thing.
We will see you soon!
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure, that just ain't so. Mark Twain
Quote: "kolikko99"Why not create a new source of income instead of replacing an expense with another one?
Aaaaaand that ladies and gentlemen is why most people are stuck in being in the middle class, only creating more expenses instead of creating pofit to cover them.
It is pretty condescending. As I stated before, I had to struggle to get myself through University. I didn't have enough capital to invest in stocks and bonds, and I certainly didn't have enough time to be setting up a business at home or do cleaning or babysitting. Sometimes you've got to tough it out for a couple of years. Get your education and that will help you get a decent high paying job. A few years of tough times is a price worth paying for a better future.
The people that make these kinds of comments are generally those that have never had to struggle because they've had well-off families to pay their way, or to fall back on if a money making venture doesn't work out.
Neil, you have it bang on luckily she's had me to lean on as I've supported her through Uni. Now that it's at an end and she's in a good job I'm starting to get myself some better coins and I think it's showing. This Won't always be the case though. The (upgrade programme) must continue !
You have graduated to a real man. Invest in reality.
Study at university, see your girlfriend and get a job.
All sound advice above. I at one point forced myself to stop buying coins. It was great. I catalogued everything I had not. I ensured my coin collection was dirt free. I foldered some of my collection in date order.
You make it what you will.
just think about that she starts cheating on you on some erasmusparty and then you have got a broken heart and a incomplete collection. can it get worse???
ok maybe its not so good that i give relationsship-tips because i am a long term single??
Quote: "Muenzenhamster"i would dump her.
just think about that she starts cheating on you on some erasmusparty and then you have got a broken heart and a incomplete collection. can it get worse???
ok maybe its not so good that i give relationsship-tips because i am a long term single??
Quote: "kolikko99"It depends on how you take it.
What if I'll just say the basic stuff like follow your dreams or nothing is impossible if you try hard enough, does that make you all happy?
It's the assumption that everyone has the option of easily finding another source of income. Have you ever had to do 40 hours a week of University classes, tutorials, study, try to find 5-10 hours a week to do all the essays and assignments that each paper demands, work 25 hours a week to pay the bills and still try to find time for girlfriend, friends, family and sleep. From your comment my guess is no.
If I complained that I was struggling to make ends meet when I was studying and somebody told me to just go and make more money I would have flattened them on the spot.
Quote: "kolikko99"It depends on how you take it.
What if I'll just say the basic stuff like follow your dreams or nothing is impossible if you try hard enough, does that make you all happy?
It's the assumption that everyone has the option of easily finding another source of income. Have you ever had to do 40 hours a week of University classes, tutorials, study, try to find 5-10 hours a week to do all the essays and assignments that each paper demands, work 25 hours a week to pay the bills and still try to find time for girlfriend, friends, family and sleep. From your comment my guess is no.
If I complained that I was struggling to make ends meet when I was studying and somebody told me to just go and make more money I would have flattened them on the spot.
That's why most people studying at a university put family and friends aside and only focus on studying and planning on the future.
Quote: "Mark240590"My question is why did she go to uni s far away from you. She should be paying.. That way you could go twice a month !
It's not that easy. She went because she couldn't get into a closer uni. And she has to pay for her own trips to see her family here and has the same income as me (which is 0)
She comes here every two or three weeks and when I can I go there in between those
And thank you all for yor suggestions!
I may think of selling coins online and narrowing my collection so I can sell more coins and not worry about getting so many of them to expand ond so many areas. I'm not going to work because it'd take me much studying time which has been said too.
But thank you all for making me think more positively
Quote: "kolikko99"That's why most people studying at a university put family and friends aside and only focus on studying and planning on the future.
That is a stupid thing to say. You can't study for 3-5 years without having some outlet for relaxation or you would have a breakdown. Everyone at Uni will have some outlet. To insist that you should be doing nothing but studying and making money is ridiculous.
Being in a long-distance relationship for so long will not be easy and not everybody can make it work.
I was in a similar situation earlier this year, where I had to change workplace and was 800Km away from my girlfriend. I visited her every weekend and only for travelling costs it was about 50% of my monthly salary. Luckily this was only for 5 months but it was tough on many levels not only financially but also physically and mentally.
During that time I continued buying coins but that was greatly reduced.
Now I'm back near her and we are thinking about getting married.
You two are young and have to see how it can be feasible for the both of you to sustain this long-distance relationship. But without wanting to cause you pain I think Uni is 4 years at least and that sounds just too long if one of you cannot find a compromise. If I were you I would first try to think about what to do next (is she really the one, can we make it work if I only see her this and this many times per month, what can I do to start to have an income, will it be too tough for me physically to have Uni Work and visit my girlfriend?). These things you should discuss with her too.
If you like coins, medals and tokens with ship motives follow my new instagram account with regular updates @numisnautiker
From time to time I sell some coins on Ebay make sure to follow me @apuking on Ebay.
We have indeed discussed this and we both agree we're sticking together trough all this. We've made a promise, no matter how hard this is, if it depends on us we'll stand together.
I truly believe she's the one and she does too. I'm positive about going through this but I am scared of how hard it may be.
If you want to succeed in life you may have to do sacrifices and in this case that sacrifice would be not seeing your girlfriend for a long time (except if you do skype calls every day which would be a great idea).
It may sound a bit harsh but I have ignored all my old friends because they were mostly the kind of people who don't give a toss about school and as nice people as they are I have to think about my future too so the only option for me was not to keep in contact with them and only concentrate on studying and studying only because I'm trying to get into a law school and that requires a lot of work and I have no time to be lazy because I know that after I have finished my studies I can do whatever I want with my life and nothing can stop me but for now I just have to be patient and work hard until it's all done.
Good luck with your studies and I hope that you will take my advice but it's not the kind of life that everybody can take because it can sometimes be very stressfull and difficult but in the end it will all be worth it.
In my experience, there are some life choices where you'll have to keep working hard forever - the only thing that changes is how desensitized you are to not having any time for anything. But what the hell do I know? I'm only on my fourth week of university - I'm not going to act like I've found the secret to modern life, and am thus vastly superior to all you other plebes. (But hey, it's not easy being superior, take it from me...)
Quote: "kolikko99"If you want to succeed in life you may have to do sacrifices and in this case that sacrifice would be not seeing your girlfriend for a long time (except if you do skype calls every day which would be a great idea).
It may sound a bit harsh but I have ignored all my old friends because they were mostly the kind of people who don't give a toss about school and as nice people as they are I have to think about my future too so the only option for me was not to keep in contact with them and only concentrate on studying and studying only because I'm trying to get into a law school and that requires a lot of work and I have no time to be lazy because I know that after I have finished my studies I can do whatever I want with my life and nothing can stop me but for now I just have to be patient and work hard until it's all done.
Good luck with your studies and I hope that you will take my advice but it's not the kind of life that everybody can take because it can sometimes be very stressfull and difficult but in the end it will all be worth it.
she actually helps and motivates me to study. I am way better off with her than without, in all aspects of my life. Including the most important one. I'm truly happy with her
And after all that's what matters the most
Quote: "kolikko99"If you want to succeed in life you may have to do sacrifices and in this case that sacrifice would be not seeing your girlfriend for a long time (except if you do skype calls every day which would be a great idea).
It may sound a bit harsh but I have ignored all my old friends because they were mostly the kind of people who don't give a toss about school and as nice people as they are I have to think about my future too so the only option for me was not to keep in contact with them and only concentrate on studying and studying only because I'm trying to get into a law school and that requires a lot of work and I have no time to be lazy because I know that after I have finished my studies I can do whatever I want with my life and nothing can stop me but for now I just have to be patient and work hard until it's all done.
It does sound a bit harsh. You talked about the middle class earlier. Heh, class, to me anyway, is how you conduct yourself and how you treat other people. It's not what you've got or how big you house is. As for success..and the drive to succeed, well, there is a man on a mountain somewhere, tending goats, and wild horses would not make him change places with any of us.
If I were the lad, I would give the coins a rest and chase the girl. Love is more important than coins. The love of coins is ok too, but the love of money..that's baaad! Heh.
It's all to do with what you value more, money, or family and friends? Money doesn't always guarantee happiness.
I've had discussions in the past with a guy that thought I should be jealous of him. He boasted about how he had his own business making millions, two houses plus rental property and money to go overseas for holidays several times a year. But he had to work ridiculous hours to do so and had no wife or kids and only occasionally a girlfriend.
I pointed out that my job allowed me to work less than 40 hours a week and while I'm not rich, it's enough to pay my mortgage and bills with enough to keep my wife in baubles and trinkets, feed my coin addiction and sporting subscriptions (tennis and badminton club fees and season pass to watch the cricket) and pay for the kids swimming, tennis and climbing lessons. I also pointed out that my happiest holidays were ones that I'd spent the least money, camping up in the lakes district with my family and tramping (hiking) in the mountains with my wife and kids.
So I ask you, who is better off?
You have to ask yourself who's more qualified to give life advice, someone who is (judging from the "99" in his username) likely only 16 years old and has not even been through University or had a serious relationship before, or an old bastard like me who has lived life a little.
Well, Neilithic. I think your right, about the values situation. Hmm, I would say that the born millionaires I have met, have been the kindest most generous relaxed people imaginable. On the other hand, these nouveau riche career driven types..well, some of them are ok too.
Quote: "neilithic""97" for 1997, he's 18 years old, getting life advice from someone 2 years younger
I'm actually taking into account more of what you say for example than what kolikko says. Not that I value less his opinions (don't get offended kolikko) but because I agree more with you
Hey all!
I'm sorry to revive this very old thread but I was randomly looking trough my old forum posts and found this gem!
So, quick life update for whoever cares: Me and said gf are still strong together, and now that I think of it I've been with her for 1/4 of my life. Odd to think about!
Everything worked out, and after a (horrendous) year of her being so far away from home, she managed to get good grades and transfer to the university on our home town. So I've been back at collecting again for a while but forgot to update this
Anyway, it was great to see all the support and advice I got here, and it reminds me of why I like this community so much!
You'll always find your way back to it. I've taken all sorts of breaks from collecting. I was trying to buy every cheap coin I could find in middle and high school trying to collect every country and then every denomination from every county. Once I went to college, I had to bury my coin binders in a closet and I didn't buy any for almost 10 years because I never felt like I had the money for it. Then I just spent about 5 years getting back into it regularly and added about 10K coins to my collection. Then last summer I blew a tire on the freeway and flipped my car over and needed a new car, so I'm (mostly) holding off on coins until I'm done paying off the car. Sold some gold to help with it, but kept everything else. Apart from about 7 coins I bought online this summer, I've been holding off for about a year so far, and I'm guessing I'll be off from collecting for another 2 years. But then I intend to get right back to it. The itch will always come back. Life just gets in the way sometimes. And it will again.
Quote: "bennycunha97"Hey all!
I'm sorry to revive this very old thread but I was randomly looking trough my old forum posts and found this gem!
So, quick life update for whoever cares: Me and said gf are still strong together, and now that I think of it I've been with her for 1/4 of my life. Odd to think about!
Everything worked out, and after a (horrendous) year of her being so far away from home, she managed to get good grades and transfer to the university on our home town. So I've been back at collecting again for a while but forgot to update this
Anyway, it was great to see all the support and advice I got here, and it reminds me of why I like this community so much!
Thank you all my friends
Always nice to hear a good story.
Your girlfriend is lucky to have you.
Stopped any active collection since I left university.
The Covid lockdown resulted in reduced outdoor activities and subsequently I have completed cataloguing nearly 50% of my collection. Many coins & notes moved from pouches to albums/folders.
Bought a few excellent coins & notes from awesome Numista members.
regards
Quote: "bennycunha97"Hey all!
I'm sorry to revive this very old thread but I was randomly looking trough my old forum posts and found this gem!
So, quick life update for whoever cares: Me and said gf are still strong together, and now that I think of it I've been with her for 1/4 of my life. Odd to think about!
Everything worked out, and after a (horrendous) year of her being so far away from home, she managed to get good grades and transfer to the university on our home town. So I've been back at collecting again for a while but forgot to update this
Anyway, it was great to see all the support and advice I got here, and it reminds me of why I like this community so much!
Thank you all my friends
Always nice to hear a good story.
Your girlfriend is lucky to have you.
Stopped any active collection since I left university.
The Covid lockdown resulted in reduced outdoor activities and subsequently I have completed cataloguing nearly 50% of my collection. Many coins & notes moved from pouches to albums/folders.
Bought a few excellent coins & notes from awesome Numista members.
regards
I agree with "BluHawk" (always nice to hear these personal stories!) Thanks for sharing. I believe most collectors I know have active phases along with the "hiatuses."
Reading the old 2015 posts gave me a good laugh. I've had the long-distance relationships with one g-f (who I thought was "the one") & I can't recall where my collection even was back then (in the late 80's likely in some storage bin). I always had to work supporting myself through college, then "uni" three times (& endured anxiety attacks working & going to "uni" with sleep deprivation, etc). My family would have been considered "blue collar" back in the day - so there was no one sponsoring my studies. I appreciated some of the earlier remarks re: finding additional income (like one snaps one's fingers)! I only added to my collection when I had jobs that exposed me to cash (& enough money to save a banknote without spending). I restarted collecting more in earnest after helping my mother with a massive garage sale (after father passed away). I had so much cash pass through my hands & the little flame was reignited. Everything I collected came from banks or circulation. Twenty years ago- I only bought from what I could sell on eBay. A few years after that - I went to shows & picked up a catalogue.
I think "BluHawk" makes an important point: you don't need to keep acquiring (buying) to consider yourself "active" in the hobby. Organizing & storing your collection correctly should take some money & care. I just made a powerpoint of my key banknotes & it's helped me limit the scope of what I wish to keep (& reconsider selling). I spend a lot of time researching & organizing my collection. I really have zeroed in on quality over quantity.
IMO: It's very important to step back every now and again- enjoy your collection- and appreciate how far you've come. Start looking at some pieces more critically. Think back why you started collecting in the first place. Put some scope/focus on what should comprise one's collection. Everyone is different (& I know this will be different for each collector). Whenever I peruse others' profiles I can see who's been through this process & who's still in the acquiring phase.
Quote: "BluHawk"Always nice to hear a good story.Your girlfriend is lucky to have you.
Stopped any active collection since I left university.
The Covid lockdown resulted in reduced outdoor activities and subsequently I have completed cataloguing nearly 50% of my collection. Many coins & notes moved from pouches to albums/folders.
Bought a few excellent coins & notes from awesome Numista members.
regards
Thanks for the words Sanjeev. I'm also quite lucky to have her. She tells me that if we have a house together someday, she won't nag me about wasting money on coins, as she understands my passion. I think this is the dream for us all collectors
Quote: "Serial_Number_8"
IMO: It's very important to step back every now and again- enjoy your collection- and appreciate how far you've come. Start looking at some pieces more critically. Think back why you started collecting in the first place. Put some scope/focus on what should comprise one's collection. Everyone is different (& I know this will be different for each collector). Whenever I peruse others' profiles I can see who's been through this process & who's still in the acquiring phase.
Very well put! Even now, with this quarantine, I haven't been able to buy a lot of coins and I did get on with it organizing a good portion of my collection, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I agree that every once in a while is good to think back to the times where we had few coins, or the moment we got a long awaited coin into our collection. To think back and realize I've been collecting for way over a decade now, despite being so young, send shivers down my spine, it's a thrill!
Those are kinds of decisions you have to make as you become older, get family, kids...
