Coins swap politeness

Hello to everyone,

      I am a relative newbie in numista and I am facing a fact which puzzles me. After a couple of (good) swaps, I tried to start others but the counterpart does not answer, either accepting or refusing; note that my (polite, and not rude) messages result read in my sentbox. I have read other topics where people suggest to look at the members' page to know what they are interested into, not to propose a swap to someone definitely not interested. I did that, but with no result. 

People I have proposed have hundreds of stars with good feedbacks, also recent, so I do not understand this behaviour. Do they snub me because I am a newbie? Should I remember that everyone begins with no swap rating? 

I ask to more expert members to speak their mind to give an advice, maybe they know what I am missing. Is this considered normal and polite in numista?

After a couple of good experiences I am becoming tired to issue proposals, wait and then close the swap after days because of no answer. Nobody likes to waste time.

Thanks to whoever wants to help

Welcome to Numista - fsbuccio

You have a nice collection.

No reply from others could be due to the fact that the person isn't swapping anymore,  health reasons, too busy with life or there is nothing in your swaplist that is on their wish list.

Don't take it personally.

Keep trying - loads of people here willing to swap and help with all things related to coins + notes.

I would add also, be patient, some swaps are completed in hours, but some last for months. You are on a right track looking for people with recent ratings, it means that people are active. But I would leave the potential swaps open for 1-2 months. I understand, you prefer to negotiate swaps quickly, but other people may live in different dynamics, and may take more than just several days to respond.

You will also encounter some rude people, but don't give up, there are a lot of nice people here.

You should consider that most collectors have a job, a family, and maybe other hobbies, so they are not always ready to examine swap proposals.

 Give people a sensible amount of time to answer.

I consider not very polite to cancel a swap after two days without an answer

I agree that it's polite to give a reasonable amount of time, but I was talking of far more than 2 days of silence. I'll keep trying and try to be patient and wait.

Thanks for your opinions.

Just read your forum message, and as it has already been stated just keep trying and you will get replies.

I have just looked at your swap list, and once I clicked that I only wanted to see coins I did not have, it showed me only 7, all of which are from the UK, where I live so collectors may be a little disappointed with coins that appear on your swap list and just delete any messages. I must say, that most do reply

I can't check what other collectors do have or don't have in comparison with my swap list. It happened that someone just said politely he did not find anything of interest and closed the swap. I think that to spend 30 seconds to do this is something that does not cost much and leave the possibility to start another swap later (this happened to me when I added new coins to my list). 

When that happens I usually leave my request for swap open for 3 to 4 weeks and then close it. I don't take it personally. As others said, each one has their life to live, their cultural background on what's polite or not, and maybe some challenges as well dealing with technology. 

While I'm usually good at taking 10 minutes to check the requester's swap list to see if a swap would be possible and reply, I don't feel bad when people don't get back to me. It's not worth it.  

Newbie too, and have had similar issues, 

I noticed most folk are quick to point to a previous topic/conversation to answer questions,

as a matter of fact “sort of”.

*The issue is, that allows NO conversation or growth, if we go by that thinking, then every topic, every movie, every book or thought in essence “EVERTHING HAS BEEN COMMITTED TO PAPER/HTML (lol)”, I could point out article's all day.

Everyone is different as some are slow, some are fast, so fast I cant even write back in time for them to cancel swap 2 days later :(

*also - I expected folks to be waaay to fast at start, but as Ive done a few swaps now, I see why they can take so much time, especially If you want things to be right.

Some are retired, some are working, some are youth, some are girls😘 etc.

-been so excited, been hard to be patient😁

Just move on. Some people just have no common courtesy or basic human manners, unless he/she is no longer with us. Even if they reply after a long period, be very careful too as if the deal goes wrong, you will never hear from them again too.

Good luck to you.

Hi, also a newbie, love this swapping :) by and large everyone I've messaged have got back to me quickly. Please also consider that in Australia and many other countries I'd imagine we have a big “fly in fly out” workforce that work on mine sites in remote areas, those people can't always respond that quickly. 

kevinh

Hi, also a newbie, love this swapping :) by and large everyone I've messaged have got back to me quickly. Please also consider that in Australia and many other countries I'd imagine we have a big “fly in fly out” workforce that work on mine sites in remote areas, those people can't always respond that quickly. 

They still have their mobile phones

Very true, they do have mobile phones, but personally I don't do anything other than calls and messages on my phone as I find the detail too small. I prefer a tablet or laptop. Where I work in the wheatbelt there are areas with have very little signal anyway.

Additionally I like to physically check thro my coins and physical lists etc so would prefer to be at home when  dealing with swaps.

Of course it's quite possible that there are some rude people, but I was just offering up another idea as to why there could be delayed response.

Hi friend,

I too felt the same way when I started as a new comer on numista couple of years back, but honestly even today after more than 50 swaps and with a 10.0 rating and about 2700 coins in my swap list I still get across some who do not respond for months together.

As the others have pointed out my own judgement is that many of the people are busy with their other tasks and have very less time for this passion of collecting.

But surely we have to hold ground with patience and politeness because we are a fraternity and a family of numismatists.

Let me share a recent incident.

Very recently I got somebody who opened a swap with me and had selected about 50 + coins and when I looked into his swap list he had totally about 20 coins in his entire list as he was a new guy. I replied  to him very politely asking what would be the logic to balance the swap even if i selected all the 20 from his list.

He understood, apologized and cancelled the swap, but he continues to send me messages to take guidance on what is what on Numista and our conversation is on.

You see, the point is that I might have lost a swap but I got a friend. That's more valuable 👍

Happy collecting and have a great day.

By the way I happened to see your list and I see some euros which are of interest to me and if you would like to open the swap with me, please go ahead.

Afsar 

Hello, how can I know which users want my coins that I put in swap? Thank you

peregrinodelsur

Hello, how can I know which users want my coins that I put in swap? Thank you

Some people put in their profile what they are in interested in. Some put it very broadly that they collect world coins, but some will put very specific. For example, they collect only Austrian coins of certain years, or only coins before 1945, or only Canadian coins, only 2 euro commemoratives, or even something more specific.

And if you open a swap with those people, they may get annoyed because you didn't read their profile and you don't have any coins of their interest.

True!  Politeness  start by ourselves reading the profile of our swap partners and paying some attention to their points of interest.

A short answer should be always welcome. Remember that a simple no also counts as an answer.

Anyway do not be afraid to propose a swap ( just try) and don't feel offended  in case you don't get any response. 

Hello,

    talking about politeness, I just report briefly what happened to me with a collector from Cape Verde (let's call him M.A.).

He contacted me two months ago, proposing a swap, and in a couple of days we reached a fair agreement. After that he disappeared for weeks. I kindly asked him if everything was all right. He apologized, telling he was very busy with his work and that soon he would send pictures to confirm the swap.

I waited, patiently, reserving the coins he chose.  Until this week, when I got in touch with a collector which told me that exactly the same happened to him. So, today I wrote to my swapping "partner" to ask what he wanted to do… a couple of lines, and he denied the swap.

I will never understand why if someone is no longer interested in a swap, he does not tell it right away. I find very unpolite to let the others wait for weeks, just to cancel the swap when they ask you what's your intention.

All this to avoid that someone else wastes his time as I did. This collector has got very good feedback… if you are lucky, you can make a good swap, but if you no longer hear of him, now you'll know why.

  Keep your head up and move on. Iam the king of slow swaps. David started a swap with me back in January and it is now coming to a end. Iam so busy with everything and getting my collection back up and running. Swapping right now on the back burner. And the mail has not been kind to me. Lost alot in the mail, and postage is getting so high. Iam sorry but will keep only in north America with swaps.  

If I know you are the the king of slow swaps, I know what to expect in swapping with you and have no problem. Less when I see someone is “slow” with me, but very quick when making swaps seriously with others (it's enough to read someone's profile).  

Anyway I move on, I just wanted to share my experience hoping it can be of help, should another collector experience the same I did. 

I have as well encountered people who doesn't bother to reply, or even just deny the swap right away. I still have an open swap proposal from a year ago, with no reply, nothing. I am closing them one by one with a kindly “Okay, maybe next time.” note, lol!

I think that's the best thing to do. 

We do not know what condition prevails on the other side. I had a few swap friends reply to me that they are no longer interested in swapping but selling of their collection because they need money either for some medical or personal requirement.  I feel sad for them, but life moves on.

So, I prefer not to be judgemental about anybody and politely close it or just leave it open. 

It doesn't matter.

fsbuccio

I can't check what other collectors do have or don't have in comparison with my swap list. It happened that someone just said politely he did not find anything of interest and closed the swap. I think that to spend 30 seconds to do this is something that does not cost much and leave the possibility to start another swap later (this happened to me when I added new coins to my list). 

I found 10 coins in your list and sent you a PM!

kevinh

Hi, also a newbie, love this swapping :) by and large everyone I've messaged have got back to me quickly. Please also consider that in Australia and many other countries I'd imagine we have a big “fly in fly out” workforce that work on mine sites in remote areas, those people can't always respond that quickly. 

PM sent

And the swap went very well, thank you.